This is how we rise
Deeper connections are the answer
Why is AI growing exponentially? Tech titans are driving it, believing it will benefit humanity. What if we’ve created an energetic void for AI to fill based on our loss of and lack of connection with each other? This loss is not just a societal shift but a personal one. We are losing our individual and community bonds, possibly due to social media, busy lives, and the pandemic. We have let these things take over and forgotten that our connections with others are vital, resulting in feelings of isolation. The consequences of this are far-reaching, affecting not just our mental health but also creating an unsolvable problem for our society.
We don’t know the future, but chaos, change, and disruption will continue. However, there is hope. Connecting with people you know and don’t know can help restore mental health, prosperity, and happiness. Our connections, if nurtured and prioritized, can be the key to a brighter future for our country and our species.
Once we stop depending on each other or connecting with certain people because we disagree, we dissipate our strength as a human species.
- Kathy Garland
No wonder AI is making such inroads. We’ve focused on the negative and the differences between us and others, not our commonalities. We must refocus on making connections to survive and adapt as a species. Connections are not about a race to rack up thousands of followers and friends on social media.
This energetic void we’ve allowed closes off our hearts and invites negative energy. We live in an increasingly artificial world of virtual activities that lack depth, loyalty, or trust, and I wonder if we have resigned ourselves to feeling isolated and lonely.
A loneliness epidemic
A quick online search shows that 25% to 60% of people feel lonely, most of them in their early adult years. The more lonely and isolated we feel, the more we can be controlled by fear, and the faster we can be divided.
What will help solve this is to “Do” connecting rather than only “Be” connected. If you, in your heart, want a better future for yourself and your children, then find time in your life to connect with other people authentically, not just “be” in the same space. Genuine relationships take time and dedication. It has a greater purpose; by doing so, you are contributing to a better future for all of us.
How does one “DO” Connecting?
Yesterday, I visited with a friend I hadn’t seen for nearly a year after she moved to another state. Visiting with her in person strengthened our friendship, and I learned more about a project she is passionate about.
To “do” connection, we visited over coffee. I experienced her passion through her energy, which wouldn’t have been so clear had we talked on the phone or Zoom. As professional coaches and facilitators, we’ve learned with practice how to connect to each other so that we hear each other.
Local connections
Our neighborhood has about 45 houses, and there is only one way in and out. There is a tight bond between people in the neighborhood who choose to be connected. It takes effort and a willingness to give. Here are a few examples of how we foster relationships:
- We still deliver feasts to families who’ve lost a loved one.
- We gather around major holidays.
- There’s a Happy Hour on the first Friday of the month.
- The women have a gathering a few times a year.
- There is a book club.
- There’s a core group that plans events and ways for us to gather.
Each of these activities speaks to the values of the neighborhood, one of which is maintaining connections and caring about each other.
Why is connecting with other people important?
Connecting with people face-to-face has so many benefits that I can’t begin to name them all, and I’d like to read your thoughts in the comments. Here are a few:
Improved mental, emotional, and physical health
Increased happiness and feelings of satisfaction
Better relationships
Stronger foundation for trust
Security of knowing that helping hands are close by
Shared resources that can be invaluable in times of need
When we connect with another neighbor, colleague, or community member, that connection extends to others, and soon, we have a vibrant community. Many of us in our neighborhood know our neighbors' adult children, extended family, and friends.
A community begins when one person reaches out to another to listen, discuss, and share ideas and resources. Then, they take that to others, and the dots begin to connect. With focus and dedication, groups can create change and better lives for all, not just their members.
How to start ‘doing’ connection
I wanted to remind you that you know how to do this. You may have forgotten or fallen into tough times. You may feel isolated, and your life's inertia may have taken over.
We are at a place in our evolution as a human species where we need to take back control. Here are eight reminders of how to reach out and strengthen your connections:
Reach out to a friend going through a tough time.
Connect with someone who you feel joyful around.
Give someone a sincere compliment. They will never forget you for that, and over time, your connection will strengthen.
Invite someone to coffee or into your home for a meal.
Talk briefly with someone at the grocery store or coffee shop. If you live in a smaller community like mine, visit the town center and find a shop that interests you.
Do one small thing to strengthen a relationship with someone important to you.
Be curious. What would you like to know? What are you curious about? You can follow that to establish connections.
True connection opens hearts and reduces the issues that could cause a divide between people.
Real connections are more than a meet and greet, either online or in person. That’s just the act of making introductions. How often have you met someone you thought had good vibes with, and nothing happened? Making meaningful connections and growing that relationship takes work and effort.
One of our neighbors moved to the West Coast, and she is consistent about staying in touch. She shares beautiful photos of the coastline and other serene settings. We share a love of art, which keeps us connected. While I don’t see her in person, I still feel connected because of our common interests.
Forming Deeper Connections
Listening to someone talk about their hopes and dreams without interrupting or inserting your own can create a deep bond between people.
Holding space for another to connect with their pain is a gift that helps them heal. We can use empathy to feel compassion for another. Expressed from the heart, empathy is a powerful way to connect with another person.
While working on this article, I stopped by a favorite coffee shop I was drawn to this morning. While I was packing up, Anne Royer, a visionary artist in our community, walked in to grab coffee for a friend.
Anne has been a guiding light in my art journey. She drew me into the art community by inviting me to participate in a show with her, and she saw possibilities that I couldn’t see for myself. So, I was curious to hear her opinions and learn about what was happening in her life. I told her I thought she had made so much impact because she makes a difference, one person at a time. She connects one artist at a time to their possibilities, an opportunity, an idea, or a resource that can help them succeed. She responded, “If I needed it or could benefit from it, then most likely someone else would too.” That point of view has inspired all she has created in the McKinney art community, and she continues to develop and innovate. After she picked up her coffee, she said, “Thanks for the conversation. You made my day.”
Connecting parents, grandparents, and kids
Another hugely popular creative project in McKinney was started by a local artist who reached out to the artist community with a call to create tiny doors for the retail merchants around the Square. Tiny doors are small art pieces designed to represent the merchants’ goods installed by their doors.
Aside from being a fun, creative project for artists and retailers, I love how this project connects people. I’ve often seen a mother or grandmother discovering another tiny door with their children. The delight in the children’s eyes and voices is a pleasure to experience. These small pieces of art connect people.
This morning, I stopped to take a photo of one of my favorite tiny doors and connected with a woman working inside the business. We had a meaningful conversation, and at the end of our visit, we agreed to stay in touch. There are times in my past when I would have walked on by, but after all, I was writing an article on connection, so I wanted to “do” connection. I’m so glad I did. It makes my heart happy.
Why is it important to “Do” connection?
The number and depth of our connections can help us realize our dreams. I used to think I had to do everything myself, but that is a false illusion.
One of my favorite quotes is by Margaret Wheatley, a social scientist, who said, “None of us exists outside our relationships.”
Maybe I’ve awakened a sleeping giant. I’m confident we need to sharpen our focus on connecting with others. Our connections and commonalities will help us survive and adapt to changing conditions.
It’s vital to our future for everyone to refocus on connecting with people. We’ve relied too much on social media and learned isolation during the pandemic. We need to undo that.
