Joyful Journeys: Navigating Life's Twists and Turns
Embracing Life's Wild Ride
This past week, Andy Adams, FlakPhoto News, posted a photo and commented on the simple joys of morning coffee. That inspired me to think about what brings me joy, which led to a thread about how we can find joy through grief. That led me to write about finding joy on our life journey.
My middle name is Joy. You’d think I’d have it figured out and be a joyful person. I am most of the time. In the last few weeks, I’ve experienced highs and lows, and today, I realized I’ve been keeping my shoulders scrunched up to my ears. Seriously. A friend I hadn’t talked to since last year said I didn’t look like my usual joyful self. Hearing her say those words reminded me I was taking life too seriously.
It can be challenging for those of us who are empaths and can feel the world's energy. From nonsense in the news to spectacles in the skies, I’ve felt like I’ve been on a roller coaster over the last few weeks.
Being in the path of totality (check out beautiful and unusual solar eclipse photos on Andy’s site) started the month on a high. A week after the eclipse, my uncle died. It was significant to me because he was the last sibling on my father’s side. He was 96, so he had lived a good life, but it’s still hard to let him go. I saw him last September, but I wish I had known him better.
Most of us are feeling an upheaval in some part of our lives. This can bring a heaviness that seeps in like a dense fog on a winter’s day. The antidote is joy, but how do we find joy during upheaval, stress, and change? Joy is an essential energy that helps us live our best lives and manifest our intentions. We may not feel expansive joy every day, but we can do small things to bring more joy into our lives.
Finding joy in everyday life is often about embracing simple pleasures and cultivating gratitude for the small moments.
At this stage of my life, being with my kids and grandkids brings me joy, as does traveling and being in the presence of magnificent art and creativity.
Joy is naturally in your heart. We’re born with it. Think of babies when they are fed, cuddled, and rested. They are connected to their source of joy. It bubbles up from within, and with joy comes the feeling that anything is possible.
If you have temporarily lost your joy, here are some reminders of how to find it again.
Share meaningful stories
Stories have connected people since humans appeared on the planet and can be a source of fun and joy. Family stories create a strong bond. My cousin shared this story from my uncle’s obituary, which I have permission to share because, as she said, “Dad would love it.”
Len taught for 40 years, most of those years at York High School in Elmhurst, Illinois. His love of science led him to house many critters in his classroom, the most notorious of which was a three-foot alligator. On one momentous occasion, that said alligator bit Len and Len’s swift reaction led to that alligator being flung across the heads of all his students to the back of the classroom. This led to a raucous stampede of all students to the hallway while the alligator was contained. After that, he stuck to fish—and fish he did.
I’ve shared that story with other family members, and we’ve laughed together, imagining him flinging that alligator. Poor alligator…I hope it was taken to a proper zoo.
Connect with Others
Human connection and meaningful relationships are essential for happiness and joy. My uncle’s death prompted me to reach out to cousins I haven’t spoken with in years.
If we don’t take time to gather together, we lose community and connection. Most days, I am more of an extravert and like to talk to people in our small downtown district. On Monday, I spoke with two young men about our mutual admiration of the playlist at the coffee shop where I frequently write. That led to a conversation about their band, music, and lives. I may never see them again, but the joy of connecting with others fuels my internal energy.
Savor the Moment
People rush, rush, rush, and are often exhausted. Our lives demand too much of us, and no wonder there is a mental health crisis. When you slow down and appreciate the present moment, even for a minute or two, you can focus on more joy and peace. Engage your senses fully in whatever you're doing, whether enjoying a meal, walking, or spending time with friends. The key is not to multitask. Multitasking takes us away from the present and our source of joy.
Savoring the moment can be as simple as enjoying a view from a window. Both our kids have views of hills and mountains from their living rooms. I feel a quiet joy when I take a moment to appreciate nature’s beauty out their windows. It's even better when I get out for a hike.
Practice Mindfulness
Jon Kabat-Zinn says that mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way. It can be as easy as savoring the moment or noticing what you haven’t seen before on a walk in your neighborhood. It can also be quietly sitting and focusing on your breath.
But why is mindfulness important? That can be an entire post, but here are three reasons to practice mindfulness.
1. Better emotional regulation—Practicing mindfulness keeps you focused and calmer during stress. It helps you avoid responding in a way that could cause conflict.
2. Improved relationships—A mindful approach fosters empathy, compassion, and nonjudgmental listening (another topic worthy of an entire post). Your conversations are purposeful, focused, and move relationships forward because you listen thoroughly and without judgment.
3. Stress Reduction—Mindfulness helps to reduce stress by promoting a state of relaxation and calmness. By focusing on the present moment, individuals can let go of worries about the past or future, which are familiar sources of stress.
Don’t delay that hobby interest of yours.
Make time for hobbies and activities that bring you joy. You rob yourself of pleasure when you only work in your job or business or do things for others. You burn out, and your relationships suffer. Your ability to connect with others mindfully can also be compromised.
You don’t have to be an expert at a hobby or activity, which I know stops many people who want to ‘get it right’ from the start. That perfectionist drive stopped me for years. Now, I have an art practice in the morning to express myself through painting. I didn’t have a direction when I started, but now I’m beginning to see how art can open up my intuition and connection with the divine. I choose to keep showing up because I lose my joyful nature and connection to the Universe and my guides if I don’t paint.
I’m taking an afternoon art workshop on Saturday, and I’m excited about it. I get to do something creative and be with fun people, lots of laughter and joy. If you don’t want to do art, be around art. It will make you happy.
Watch funny dog and cat videos!
Some people think that laughing and playing is for someone else and can only happen after everything is done. Never is everything done.
I need to work on not taking myself so seriously. Really. I put a lot on my plate and don’t slow down that often.
When my brain gets overloaded, I watch a Golden Retriever channel on Instagram. I laugh and think of my niece-dog, Phoebe, who is the best!
Think of something that makes you feel joyful.
The simplest way to feel more joy is to focus on joyful things. Anchoring a favorite memory in your heart can help you feel a sense of joy during times of difficulty.
One way I start the day on a positive note is to watch the photo show in our digital frame while I drink my coffee. Photos of our kids and grandkids, majestic sunsets, interesting front doors, mountains, and pictures from my travels inspire me every day. These photos and memories create joy in my heart. It’s an excellent way to start my day.
You Know You Need More Time for Self-Care
This may be the toughest for women because many of us got the subtle message that Self-care is selfish. But prioritizing activities that nourish your body, mind, and spirit rejuvenates you and brings you to the present, where you can focus on joy.
One form of self-care for me is travel. Whether with friends or family, travel opens up my world, and I return refreshed and inspired. The ultimate self-care for me is a solo trip where I get to do what I want when I want, eat what I want, and sleep when I want.
I love taking solo road trips to reflect, relax, and escape TV noise, heavy traffic, cooking, or other things that require energy that I’d like to spend elsewhere.
These go without saying, but I’ll share them anyway
Cultivate a gratitude practice—Be grateful for everyone and everything in your life. Choose to be thankful.
Help others—It’s true that when we help others, we forget our issues and stresses. Seeing the light in another’s eyes when they receive help and support is priceless and provides an immediate joy boost.
Need I say spend time with babies and puppies?—And not necessarily in that order. Their essence is joy. If you can’t be around babies and puppies—ok, kittens for cat lovers—there are endless videos you can watch to spark your joy.
Whatever brings you joy, do more of that now, please!
May the spark of joy in your heart light the fire of delight in those you meet.
Ahhh, what a life affirming and refreshing post. Yesterday my nephew called and had an unexpected day off so he asked me to met up for lunch. I said no, I have appointments today (two gym classes id signed up for that could easily be done next week). Oh, come on, auntie, live a little off the chain. I'd love to but... The realization of what a rare opportunity he was offering stopped me ... I'll DO IT! And so we got in the car and made an hour trip to see him, and my sister, and his sister, my niece, and her kids, and her new house. It was a WONDERFUL and joyful day!!! Your column this week is a perfect affirmation for the importance of taking time to live off the chain. :)
Thanks for the shout, Kathy!