Find Inner Peace: Simple Steps to Free Your Mind

Find Inner Peace: Simple Steps to Free Your Mind

My journey to more harmony and freedom

I don’t know about you, but I find more peace in my life when I stay away from mainstream media and limit my social media participation. I still go through short periods where I turn to social media multiple times during the day. Usually, it’s when I’m mulling over a problem, waiting on something or someone, or boredom has set in.

An exception is watching funny dog videos! That seems frivolous, but a little laughter goes a long way to free my mind of overwhelming and unnecessary thoughts.

What is inner peace? It’s the opposite of having an overactive mind. For me, it’s how I feel in the mountains or on the seashore. Or after a sublime meal. It’s a feeling of harmony and oneness that all is right in my world.

Feelings of inner peace can be fleeting until you start to notice them and appreciate them. There are mental and physical benefits to cultivating inner peace.

Below are some lessons I’ve learned, sometimes the hard way.

Please don’t do things for people they can do for themselves

A friend of mine had too many eggs from her hen house and wanted to give me a dozen or two. When she found out I couldn’t eat eggs but my husband did, she asked, ‘Do you have time to cook them for him?’

Her question took me aback. I haven’t cooked breakfast for him in years. I had an early commute to a demanding job. He traveled for nearly half the month. It was too much for me to handle, and we were raising two children. I felt frazzled at every turn.

It was hard for me to have that conversation, but he started making his breakfast and has done so for years. It’s not that I don’t care. If we ate the same thing, like oatmeal, it wouldn’t be an issue to cook extra. It was about making a separate meal. He can cook eggs better than I can. The fact that he is responsible for his meals when we aren’t together brings me a sense of inner peace.

Back to my friend and her chickens, I adore her, but I observe that she is constantly stressed and overworked, much of it because she feels she has to do things for her kids that they can do for themselves. I’ve since realized that she asked that question out of concern for me, but I didn’t realize that at the time.

Being helpful is honorable. But ask yourself why you do all these things for others when they are competent.

Ask people to do the things they can do on their own. If they genuinely can’t do something, then a little time teaching on your behalf will reap rewards. This is a big step if you value what others think of you and worry that you might harm your relationship. I promise you it will be worth it.

Free yourself from the need to please others.

I still value doing and saying things to please others. I haven’t thrown in the towel. Relationships are important to me. A social scientist, Margaret Wheatley, says that none of us exist outside of our relationships.

But sometimes, I’ve worked too hard to make things right, safe, comfortable, and happy for those around me. It leads to burnout and a feeling of loss of self.

When people put others first most of the time, it can lead to emotional pain. Not being assertive enough to share their own needs and opinions can lead to an erosion of self-esteem and confidence.

Relationship-focused people can value other people’s opinions more than their own. It can feel safer for them to go with someone else’s decisions and ideas because they don’t want to upset the apple cart or harm a relationship.

Free yourself from the need to please others by writing lists of your values and what’s important to you. Make a vision board of things, situations, people, and places that excite you. Show up for your desires. Your relationships will be stronger because you are happier.

It’s a journey for me to balance what I want with the desires of others and not cave into doing and saying things because I want to please others. As a recovering people-pleaser, it’s easy to slip back into it. Because of the self-development work I’ve done, I recognize it sooner and can make a choice rather than think it’s the only option.

Start a meditation practice.

When I enrolled in my Management Effectiveness Coaching program, one of the first requirements was to establish a meditation practice. At first, I couldn’t sit still, and my thoughts got louder and louder. But I wanted the benefits promised from the practice. Gradually, I started to notice some quiet space in my mind; even though it might only be a fleeting second, it was progress. Over twenty years later, I still maintain a meditation practice and feel ‘off’ if I skip it.

The physical and mental benefits of meditation have been proven through research. Among the many benefits of a routine meditation practice, you may experience:

• Reduced stress and anxiety

• Lowered blood pressure

• Improved focus and attention

• Reduced “monkey” mind and runaway thoughts

• Improved emotional well-being

• Increased awareness

Photo by Mor Shani on Unsplash

The power of meditation in your life is its simplicity. Wake up early and breathe. That’s its simplest form. Breathe in and breathe out. Give it at least ten minutes daily for two weeks, then notice your feelings. The benefits of a routine meditation practice pay dividends over time.

Find a reason to laugh every day and not take yourself so seriously.

You might be tempted to skip past this section. Adults are serious creatures, after all. I’m writing this to you from California, where I’m spending a week helping our son with his two boys while our daughter-in-law is on a business trip.

I love spending time with all four of our grandsons (two in California and two in Montana) because there is always something to laugh about. I also love their sense of adventure and to see them try out their ideas.

Lately, I’ve gone to dog channels for a little comic relief, especially the ones featuring golden retrievers. It doesn’t take much time and is instant fun.

You gotta love golden retrievers - Here are over 800 photos of adorable goldens to make you smile.

It may seem counterproductive to carve out part of your day to make time for laughter. I know I’ve thought that before. But the more I relax, the more I’m creative and focused. I’m sure you’ve heard this, but I’m here to remind you of the benefits of laughter. It has been proven to aid in:

• Strengthening your relationships when you laugh with others

• Reducing stress and stress hormones

• Increasing your willingness to be spontaneous

• Improved health and well-being, including immunity and respiratory functions

There are numerous benefits to laughing daily. There are even laughter clubs and classes. It’s life-changing not to take yourself so seriously. The lightness of being you experience from comedy and laughing and enjoying life brings you a sense of inner peace.

What do you do to feel inner peace? Or what challenges your sense of inner peace? I’d love for you to email me or post a comment below.

You can also schedule a 15-minute call with me to talk about practices you can begin to cultivate inner peace.

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May you be happy.

May you be peaceful.

May you have inner peace.

May you feel joy.