Adopting a Neutral Point of View Can Help You Stay Focused and Productive in Every Situation
A horsewoman's approach to life
Last week, I offered tips on responding to difficult situations during the holidays. Today, I want to share thoughts on adapting your point of view so you can stay focused and productive.
There’s a fable about a woman and her son who owned and raised horses. A series of events caused the villagers to offer their opinions to her. The power of the story is in her responses. It goes like this:
One day, a woman and her son were tending to their horses. A strong stallion found an opening in the fence and galloped off.
When the people in the village heard her prized stallion ran away,
they told her, “Oh, this is bad.”
She smiled and responded, “Could be good, could be bad.”
A few days later, the stallion returned home with several more horses.
The villagers said, “This is good!”
The woman responded, “Could be good, Could be bad.”
The next day, her son, who was working with the new horses, fell and broke his leg. He wasn’t able to help her with the horses for many weeks.
The villagers were sad and told her, “This is very bad.”
She smiled and said, “Could be good, could be bad.”
While her son was recuperating, the emperor sent his leaders through the village to round up all the young men for war.
The woman’s son was not taken because of his leg.
The villagers immediately responded with relief
and told her, “That’s good.”
She told the villagers once more,
“Could be good, could be bad.”
We never know whether a person, a situation, or an event is good or bad. We use our frame of reference and emotions to decide whether something is good or bad. In the case of the horsewoman, she kept focused and kept her farm going by not caving into whether the events that happened to her were good or bad. She realized she had no control over the future, so why should she decide whether it was good or bad?
This story is compelling to share when people get overly attached to an outcome. We can become blind to other options as we let our values, beliefs, opinions, and the past surface under challenging circumstances and relationships. Letting our emotions get the best of us can happen quickly. But, striving to be an observer with a neutral point of view has benefits as listed below:
You experience less stress.
Your lack of judging others will build a connection with people.
You have more mental and emotional space to solve problems
You source more creative ideas because you assume you don’t have the answer before you begin.
Personal mastery is looking at situations without assessing whether something is “good” or “bad.” Being an observer without getting pulled into drama or situations not worth your time will help you maintain your energy, focus, and life satisfaction.
Today, consider that what you think is bad could be good now or in the future. The next step is to look at the situation and notice where you are attached to a particular outcome. What if your desired solution or outcome is less than what is available to you?
For example, it feels terrible to lose a job. That has happened to me, and I didn’t know then about striving to be neutral instead of being attached to a particular outcome. Your mind blocks your problem-solving ability when you stay stuck in what happened instead of being impartial and open to what’s next. Do your best to have a neutral point of view and be open to options other than what your ego tells you. What if you find a better job with better pay?
On a personal note, I have achieved this neutrality with certain people and events, but there are still people and situations, present and past, that I must work through as they come in and out of my life. Remember, we’re all a work in progress. You might consider choosing one person, one bit on the news, or one event, such as a holiday dinner, to practice being neutral.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and answer questions, and you can put them in the comment box below.