10 things you can do to honor your ancestors
They want to help and connect with you
Next week, people around the world celebrate and honor their loved ones who have died. All Saint’s Day, Dia de Los Muertos, and Samhain are three rituals and celebrations to honor those who have passed from their earthly existence.
Of all the celebrations, I love Dia de Los Muertos, translated as Day of the Dead, the most. Dancing, food, colorful makeup and costumes, and ofrendas or family alters, make the celebration worth attending. And it’s not sad. It is believed they come back to earth for one night and their relatives prepare a celebration and feast for them.
If you’re not familiar with Day of the Dead and its meaning, Disney has a delightful movie about Dia de Los Muertos titled “Coco.” The story is about a young boy who discovered the talents he has in common with his deceased grandfather.
Native McKinney and Groovy Coop, both lively spots in historic downtown McKinney, together with Megan Poakeart are offering a Samhain (pronounced sow-wen) celebration on October 30 at Native.
Honoring our family members in spirit reminds of us of our roots and our heritage. We share DNA, common traits, and common struggles with our ancestors. It helps us know ourselves better by doing things to connect with them.
I don’t know what you believe, but I am certain that our deceased loved ones want to help. When you take time to think about them, you’ll feel a connection that transcends space and time. I recommend if you don’t have a practice connecting with your ancestors, that you focus on the family members with whom you had a good relationship, those who intrigue you, or the relative you resemble the most.
10 things you can do to honor your ancestors
1. Participate in a rite or ritual that is designed to honor the dead. All Saints Day, Dia de Los Muertos, and Samhain are three well-known commemorative holidays. Or create your own Day of the Dead.
2. Visit their gravesite if possible.
3. Pull out a family album and connect with them through photos.
4. Sink into a meditation and ask them to connect, then ask a specific question. Pay attention to the first thought or image you have after you ask. It’s quick! They aren’t limited by time and space like we are.
5. Reflect on your life and the good qualities you gained from your relatives who are in spirit. Thank them for who they were and the life experiences they had that influence who you are.
6. Write a letter to a deceased loved one. Write what you couldn’t say while they were alive. Write what you feel now. If you didn’t know them, write what you wish you could have asked them or said to them.
7. Create art or write a poem or essay about them. This is soul work and can be healing and cathartic. I’ve written a poem about my father, my mother, and my paternal grandmother.
8. Go to their favorite restaurant or prepare their favorite meal. Every Sunday after church, my parents had lunch at a local Italian Bistro. We still eat there every few years. The owner and staff knew my parents and when my dad died, they stayed open late so we could have dinner after the visitation. Veal a la Bistro please! We ordered 14 of them, because that was his favorite dinner.
9. Do something they loved to do. Last year, after a writing conference, I visited the cemetery where my parents are buried. Across the street is a Starbucks where we’d take Mom when we visited her. I popped in for a visit and had her favorite blended beverage.
10. Light a candle. Lighting a candle is a sign that you want to connect, to honor them. Some people pray over a candle. I’ve done this in cathedrals and chapels when I travel. It’s a reverent act that shows you remember them.
If you’ve recently lost a loved one, I’m sorry for your loss. When grief takes hold, it can be hard to shake. Finding ways after the memorial service to remember them and connect with their legacy is one of the best places to start to ease some of your pain.
The more we honor our ancestors, the more we draw their attention. They are busy over there, and it helps their spiritual development to help us.
What is your favorite way to honor your loved ones in spirit? Comment in the chat below.
Meditation is my favorite way to connect and show gratitude toward my loved ones. It is easier to open my heart in a meditative state.